Axara Darwick's Blog

Hoes, BEWARE!!!

2006-10-07T22:28:00.000-04:00

Current mood: annoyed ROWR!!!

...seriously, fuck off...

p.s. I'm too ambiguous for your own fucking good.

i'm fucking back

2006-10-06T22:06:00.000-04:00

Current mood: awesome!

online!

yeah :|

sarah's caat is a drag queen

2006-09-15T21:18:00.000-04:00

Current mood: amused

seriously... that's the GOD DAMNIT!!! and he's a boxer... :-O He just ran out in the middle of Angel and Gypsy and punched Gypsy in the face a good five tims.. then Angel and Gypsy took off after him and Gypsy chased him up the stairs into a hiding place... Ahh... animals are lovely. But seriously, I think kitty thought Gypsy stole his sparkly high heels for his show tonight... and decided to go rambo kitty instead of barbara....

anyway, going to ann arbor today, Tim's in town... yay! Ummm... I'm out of interesting things... wow... I'm so lame I've impressed myself!

disappearance...

2006-09-03T22:21:00.000-04:00

Current mood: exhausted

of me.

sorry. it is necessary for temporary extenuating circumstances. i'm lame and i'm impatient with myself. also recentfly found out my variety of daily-taken pills are working their way through my muskuloskeletal (or some sp?) system and a common side effect is much pain through said system... yay for unknown pain... for the last couple months i just thought i aged from a 23 yr old to an 83 yr old over a few nights... but i guess now i have to get used to the side effects of no medication, what the fuck.. happy labor day.

p.s. to anyone concerned... david the gnome did NOT wear a sweater, but even if he did, he still would've been a motherfucking badass. :-|

rowr

2006-08-06T14:28:00.000-04:00

Current mood: tie-dyed

junk mail sucks... but never having access to the internet sucks even more.

gypsy ate a pound of chocolate... it was a gross feast of expelling the nast, yay for surviving poison.

thanks everyone who came out to holland...and it's nice to see old friends.

much love and luck.

bethany l.s.s.

wafuckinghoo! :-|

2006-06-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

My husband is more than a foot taller than me

2006-05-29T18:25:00.000-04:00

Current mood: hot

The Rules:
**The 1st player of this game starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog.**

1. I dropped out of 3 highschools.
2. I graduated from college/university twice (so far).
3. I name things... inanimate, animate, living... trees, animals, people, sidewalks... neat-o treats/prizes you win out of those grabber games in malls and restaurants and shit...
4. I used to play soccer on an all boys' team... one of a few girls out of the entire league...
5. I played the Oz Lady in The Wizard of Oz in highschool... it was my second play...(The Oz lady is a deleted character from the movie... do not be mistaken, it was a very important role!) ;-)
6. The number 6 is one of my favorite numbers...especially in concern of track numbers on cd's or mixed tapes/cd's...Yes, 6 rocks...

time to say goodbye...

2006-05-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

Current mood: xanaxed..?

Last night was excellent... saw my ladies and Matthew... it was nice to see everyone smiling! It kept my mind of the shit that's been swirling around it again... like last year. YAY for being ill. Cruel and unusual tests... biopsy even sounds fun ;-) Then inevitable surgery... wow... I thought once was enough punishment.. but I guess I was a real douchebag in my last life.

:-|

Going back to Holland... yay for puppies and my man. ;-)

mm.. by the way...

2006-04-22T10:45:00.000-04:00

Current mood: argh

by asshole friends i speak only of the small, crazy, ones who don't eat... mm... sad. here's a donut... stop the anger that's fueled by no food. starvation is a killer... especially when it's by psychotic choice.

you didn't eat...

2006-04-22T10:40:00.000-04:00

Current mood: ecstatic

Did you ever try to throw a surprise party for someone who picked a fight with you just before you brought them to the party?

Yeah... me neither... I wish I still had assholes for friends, HA! Just kidding. :-|

Have a nice day.

Detroit tonight, oh... your sweet solemnity surrenders me to forget the beauty beyond grey pavement, abandoned buildings and life imitating death... thanks for the lesson blessed detroit... thanks for the lesson.

2026

2006-04-15T17:50:00.000-04:00

i am in d.c. it is beautiful here... happy to be out of michigan but i can't get ahold of matty the incredible... so we can stop by and visit him in pitt on our way out... *sigh..* spending some time in monroe after we leave this area... can't wait to see my g.c. ladies!!! whoopty whoop!

see you all on the flip side.

track .6

2006-03-20T08:13:00.000-05:00

Heading back to Holland today... puppies are asleep and waiting... now i just have to get my shit together... I hope the GC ladies had an excellent spring break, you crazy bitches!!! Happy late St. Patrick's day.. yay for deliciously green jell-o shots. Anyway, i gotta rock n roll outta here.

Peace.

:)

wow, what a relief, i thought you were gone...

2005-10-25T16:32:00.000-04:00

Anyway...

Sometimes, people just disturb me. I must be on anti anti psychotics, because I'm paranoid. I want to be wreckless and rude. Inconsiderate and terrible to talk to. I want to be the absolute worst person that anyone could possibly know....

Because then I wouldn't feel so terrible about all this subtle, yet obvious rejection. Like the next time someone just slices me out of their conscious collection of friends, I'll be able to think back on all the horrible things I did to them, things which called me for me to be cast out of the castle of friendship....

I'm hateful. Very hateful. "So much is left undone...Still I know you just don't care..."

You say we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

I see you, the only one who knew me
But now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over
I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone

Not so cool

2005-10-19T23:29:00.000-04:00

Bored and tired... not tired from grueling work, tired of nothing... bored by nothing... over and over this monotonous nothingness really hits me all of a sudden when I'm not paying attention. Can you believe it, me not pay attention!

Either I'm a terrible friend or else almost everyone else is... mmm... that's not fair, I'm sure. But really what difference does it make? I'm feeling hostile.. hostYle even, so this isn't the best time to think about it...I'm mad because certain people haven't called... granted, I haven't called either, I was curious to see if it even mattered to these people, clearly it didn't... I guess they could claim the same thing... that they wanted to see if I'd call... but that's just bullshit that I'll never accept.

I'll admit I'm lame and called some... and they'd pretend to have not heard the message... ugh, piss on you! I hate lame people. If you think I'm so uncool, then have the balls to tell me. Don't act like some ignorant snob and neglect to inform me as to why our friendship has ceased to exist.

I'm tired. I hate realizing friends aren't friends. Even when they're bad people, it's still depressing to know I trusted and cared about them even for a minute of my wasted time. I hate being in Monroe. Fuck this place and all its shit.

Cool list

2005-10-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

Seriously... I'm childish. Not necessarily in order of importance or anything... these are all equally important.

1. Holland-this is not a kind of love or person I've ever experienced before... and though I'm afraid of losing what I have, I'm too grateful for his beauty and warmth to do anything but enjoy this.

2. My family-sometimes they're jerks and crazy, but they're my crazy jerks and I love them.. even though I'm afraid they'll turn me into a crazy jerk, too.

3. My friends-GC~ Represent, whoopty whoop ladies, you know you know! I don't know where I'd be if I'd never met you or heard the triad stories! You're all awesome. Matty, I love you, too, ofcourse!

4. Angel. Although she's going to hate me for taking her to the vet tomorrow, she makes me happy, even after waking me up at 5 in the morning, just for the fun of howling and barking in my ear.

5. Random acts of randomness. Those experiences and people that this covers, you know in your heart or inanimate object core...

6. The number six is good... it makes me generally happy. Just about everything and everyone else sucks balls. Boo on those who suck gross balls. Seriously, man... what were you thinking?

Good night. I'm tired. This time I'm serious.

Pets and Animals

2005-10-18T23:44:00.000-04:00

Seriously, Simon is way adorable, sweet, smart, and chill... too bad he doesn't have a cat gland like skunks have a stink gland... people remove skunks' stink glands and then keep them as pets... if Simon had a cat gland then I could have it removed so I would no longer be allergic to him and then he'd be free to be a cat and I'd be free to be a human and neither of us would have breathing, vision, and itching problems due to the other one's presence... namely me.

He's too cool to not pet and he's too sweet, adorable, and pathetic to not feed... damn it... DAMN!

Why can't cats have cat glands?!?! People should have people glands too... maybe I could just have stupid people's stupid people glands removed... umm, k.. I'm tired.

Ladies in the GC area, you know you know! Good seeing you on Saturday! Thanks for being so fucking cool by simply being yourselves! Much love and adoration... WAHOO!!!

eternal submission

2005-10-14T17:01:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, people are schizophrenic. When people are schizo, it is impossible to communicate, help, or interact without obstacles of their mental manipulation of chaos and destruction. One minute, agreeable, next minute they're psychoitc and simply dumb. Deep breaths, deep breaths.

So when interacting with these people, almost inevitably they'll attempt to get in your face, stir up more trouble than ever imagined and when you're imagining smashing a baseball bat into their feeble-minded skull, you think, wait... I'm NOT going to jail for this piece of shit, white trash excuse for and waste of existence. Hateful... I am.

So there is a choice... to throw them out fo a window like some maniac with adrenaline and agression beyond the magnitude of that of someone hopped up on pcp... really good, strong, awesome pcp... option 2. is to simply take their verbal craziness of bullshit and let them think they won... though inside you still want to throw them out the window...

So really, there is no choice, no sane one. If you, the sane person, does not act on this impulse of throwing psychotic assholes out a window, then you, the sane person, in turn becomes a psychotic asshole, and there are already enough psychotic assholes in THIS society!

Moral of the story, if someone is being a pathetic lazy, self-indulgent slut hoe beast bitch asshole the best thing for you, society, and the crazy shitbum fuck weasal is to yank them off of their top bunk bed and throw them out the window when you're 12 years old and finally big enough to throw the previously mentioned dickhead out of the window... besides, the closest window isn't too far to throw their confused and quasi motionless body out the window....

AND... if you're 12, they're probably only 14 or so and not too big to fold like an internally hideous paper doll and simply fly them out the window like an airplane. Besides, the worst that'll happen is they'll break a leg, or two... and that's good luck, right? So they'll be grateful and all the pain killing drugs and massive surgeries necessary to repair their broken legs will settle them down from being such a moronic ungrateful mooching asshole.

Anyone ever have a fight with their siblings..?

Props to D.C.

Halloween Tribute, Thanks Columbia! RHPS!!!

2005-10-14T01:04:00.000-04:00

Main Entry:	harrowing
Part of Speech:	adjective
Definition:	dangerous
Synonyms:	agonizing, alarming, chilling, distressing, disturbing, excruciating, frightening, heart-rending, heartbreaking, nerve-racking, painful, racking, soaring, tearing, terrifying, tormenting, torturing, torturous, traumatic
Antonyms:	heartening, safe

her�o�ine (hr-n)
n.

A woman noted for courage and daring action.
A woman noted for special achievement in a particular field.
The principal female character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.

Aweful

2005-10-14T00:19:00.000-04:00

So a cat wandered onto my porch Wednesday morning stayed throughout the day, disappeared at night and showed up again last night and was super adorable and sneaky and cool and soft and then my eyes and throat started swelling up and somehow I thought god would forgive me from being allergic for maybe one good petting session, but alas, ours is an unforgivable god... just aweful, aweful in a bad way....

Think, awesome = good and aweful = bad..? Um, why? some and ful differentiate AWE? I don't think so.... it's just another perfect example of how we've destroyed our own language into seeming useless and negative via shitty connotations and silly, misguiding use... I'm going to switch awesome and aweful from now on...

For example, "My, what an aweful hair cut you just got, you HAFTA give me the name of your stylist, I must get the same cut...!" or something like that...

Example #2... "Oh my god, look at that awesome train wreck... I think I can see a bloody limb in front of our car..!" Right, get it? It makes sense, sounds good and who ever said that AWESOME gets to be the good AWE?

Right... So... I guess I'm kinda lame. But, in the words of Liam Lynch..."Whatever!"

Excited to see my C-horse within 24 hours, mmm... YAY!!!

you're not afraid of him. you're angry at me

2005-10-07T13:57:00.000-04:00

It's cold out, it feels nostalgic and sad... lately i've been graceless, detached, and quasi-robotic... maybe I need to serve more of a purpose beyond functioning... because as we all know... functioning is no way to live a tall.... So besides being so boring and lame and dumb and a bad friend... I'm really happy...

Mm, I guess sarcasm isn't alays appropriate, however it does seem effective and easier than being genuine, because genuine means vulnerable and this stream of consciousness helps no one, even me.

p.s. even herbal supplements make me fuzzy in the head... nostalgia sucks.

1173-and i lie till there's no turning back :-D

2005-10-03T06:56:00.000-04:00

allegra, allegra D, otc, albuterol, nasonex, bee pollen, st john's wort, efa oil, levothyroxene, daily multi vitamin... a minimum of 20 doses a day, maybe the illnesses are just side effects of the pills... and the cycle of more medicating and more side effects is just adding up.

Note: Ricky Martin still looks like an oversized chipmunk... and definately not as cute as Alvin, Simon, or Theodore!

Anyway, I think I have another fucking cold, BOO!!! I want to swim in the C... and wash away the bla. Dwelling was an issue, now I'm just tired, mm, sleepy nap time. Goo Ni

oh, post script... no one left their mark on me. Only you moj serce, masz mnie i nie wiesz... your arrow is in me and it is non-refundable... Mmm, feels good to say... NNNNNNONNNRRREEEEFFFUNNNDAAABBBLLEEEEEE! Hooray for C love, the best kind of love and the only kind!!! YAY!

pomagranites make me blue

2005-09-30T14:33:00.000-04:00

"you can trust in me like pomagranites have seeds..." blech. first time i was just kinda enjoying the solace, in a cold, time-parted kind of way.

Hmm, I can smell pot and I'm all the way in the basement, wow, those guys up there must be smokey smoking... hmm... umm, yes. LOL!!!

Mmm, traffic sucks.

was not there

2005-09-28T16:07:00.000-04:00

New... recently discovered and I'm learning about you... pumped, angry, strange. "You're consuming me violently and yourt reverence shamelessly tempting me who sent this maniac?!?!?!!? Cuz I never had this..."

ROWR. Soemtimes I seriously consider the option of psychiatric treatment for one or a few of my many personalities which are all suffering from disorders. Boo. Seriously, Boo. :'( Might go for a alcoholic-induced walk or something later, maybe I'll look for those pathetic little boys who approached me a few weeks ago ... and with my adrenaline pumping from alcohol I'll have to maniacally erase them from existence...hmm... I am an angry clam.

K, gonna go chill out before I envelopes become more than paper and my brain turns into jell-o, green or maybe pink-like.

Mmm... heading back to Monroe...

2005-09-26T09:55:00.000-04:00

is dreary. The people I haven't called haven't called me either and some I've called haven't called me back... and those I haven't spoken to in years have recently called me repeatedly. This bizarre cycle of instability in friendship is boring, vague, and lame... "synonomous with puppets"

I miss the GC ladies! Mr. Pitt, you suck :'( and everyone else is usually in a chaotic view. Angel likes Collin's closet because it leads to about 5 feet of nothingness where she then has to back up to find her way out once she again realizes how the end of the 5 feet really does go nowehere!

K, seriously.

You're a virgin who can't drive!

2005-09-19T16:34:00.000-04:00

WOW, Clueless is the best fucking movie ever! My broham and I used to watch it all the time like lame ass cheese-wheelers, but hey, who can blame us?!?!

Fabulous quote of the day, compliments of Gilmore Girls... "All I'm saying is that sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner!" You'll see that at least 5 more times in upcoming blogs because it is precious, OH!

K.... Whoopty Whoop! You know You know!

Blogs are funny because they are awesome! I invested $3.99 on some St. John's Wort, "Helps promote pa positive mood" WAHOO!!

hey, thanks...

2005-09-15T11:43:00.000-04:00

I like when things aren't chaotic and bitter. This makes me happy, gracias! Hey, you know itt's always happier when the skies are clear and the clouds shy away... let's be cool. I have faith we can avoid another calamity... :-D I'm not only happy when it rains... I'm happy when things are happy!!!! YAY!

My headaches are winding away, it must be the weather change, metaphorical and literal... Hmm, consuming my 7th or so mug of coffee... HAHAHA!!! Oh, Different World is my favorite show, right now at least....

people are mean

2005-09-15T08:56:00.000-04:00

wow. i'm glad i've avoided this lame ass center for the jerks. seriously... wow. I'm tired too... hmm... why would some one act hateful then act even more hateful when their hate is properly noted and respectfully understood.

If an old friend continuously dodges meeting, talking or generally being civil.but ..but then when you simply leave them alone they flip and become even more hostile... you would? A. continue to attempt to be friends? B. Allow them to decline continued friendship and go seperate ways...? or C. Remind them that they are the hateful ones, not you..?

Boo on returning back to Monroe. Wow, what a fucking shit hole it is. Wow.

People in Holland, GC, and Pitt are still completely amazing and loved. Thanks pals!

nothing is real...

2005-08-31T15:09:00.000-04:00

Even the bamboo decided to bust. mm... what's there left to say?

About 4 days of non smoking... mm... my head is pounding, so is the blood in my veins, I can't deal with bs... and i'm probably shunning your company if you're a smoker... not because I don't like you anymore, but because I'll kill for a cigarette and I don't wanna kill over smokes... OH MAN!!!

Ashley, remember when your mom wanted to fight me for a smoke but you protected me??? Man, your mom is CrAAAzy... That was the best, "Mom, she has enough for the both of us on the drive back to school... and you're trying to quit!" Oh, Ashley... well, in the context of that situation I have truly become your mom... I'd be willing to throw down to get a smoke, although I'm trying to restrain myself... I'm just trying to hide from public before I have to deal with really maintaining my will power. Mmm... if you see me smoking, punch me in the face... to all. Thanks.

If I blow up at you, it might be because I'm fiending for nicotine... or because I really just don't like you. Thanks for obliging.Mmm.. yes!